The Undeniable Hoffenchard

Jim's First Hoffenchard Domination!

2012-02-11T19:05:00.001-08:00

Hoffenburg 2012

2012-02-11T17:14:00.001-08:00

How many races can you blow a 20 minute lead to finish dead last??

Give us stuff...

2012-02-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

Found this rummaging through my desk at work.

Solo birthday ride

2012-02-06T17:54:00.000-08:00

My birthday isn't technically until tomorrow, but i took today off and after laying around all morning, got out for a short spin around bent creek. this also just happened to be the last ride i will do on the lynskey. it is headed to a new owner this weekend and i will be bikeless (mtn bike anyway) until parts and a new frame come in.

Mas Importante

2012-01-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

2012-01-22T17:22:00.001-08:00

Note to self...next time you install a new chain and cassette, check your derailleur adjustment before heading out to ride.

Boulder sucks

2012-01-07T13:39:00.001-08:00

Asheville rules.

The End Of Cross Season

2012-01-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

Lunch ride with Kylie

2011-11-16T18:19:00.001-08:00

Nice little lunch ride today with out west hoff Kylie.

Euro mullet time

2011-11-16T18:17:00.001-08:00

This haircut will be UCI compliant.

Shit just got real son..!!!

2011-11-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

Weekend Hash Run

2011-11-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

I fell asleep at the gay bar. Luckily, Eric was kind enough to wake me up.

let the smack talk begin

2011-11-09T11:05:00.001-08:00

The Hendersonville UCI cross race is just over a week and a half away, and with most Hoff's in attendence, the smack talk has started. Myself and Kylie, who is flying in from the peoples republic of boulder, had this pleasant exchange via chat earlier:

Kyle: i'd like to ride a little mtb if at all possible
any way we could get me a bike? well if the weathers good

Eric: no doubt, we'll get a mtn bike for you.

Kyle: get me something i can tear your legs off with

Eric: hmmm, don't think i'll find anything like that. i will try to find something that will help you keep up with me though

With the amount of drinking that is planned, the only legs being torn off may be our own.

Salisbury CX Re-Cap: Throwbacks and Throw-ups

2011-11-07T10:33:00.000-08:00

The air was crisp, the sun was shining and in 45 minutes, I squeezed out a fat steaming pile of hot fuck. No call-up this time and no starting grid so that meant crossed wheels and handlebars touching handlebars ever so gently during the clusterfisting of a start. Everyone will get a chance to take it up the cornhole so what's the rush? A miserable clip-in sprint debacle saw me running 25th out of 40 or so. I'd yo-yo here and there with the other midpack cannon fodder for the rest of the race. At one time I'm 16th, then a bobble in the woods and I'm 21st. Then a pass on the straightaway and I'm 17th. Then a "what the fuck is this guy DOING?" and I might as well be racing Special Needs 65+ CX7. All griping and swearing aside, the course was tons of fun with a nice mud puddle that looked and smelled like the contents of a tacqueria porta-john. I hoped Tony would redeem us be he did even worse than me in the 4's race. Not much worse, but worse. His pile of hot fuck was not only steaming, but a bit runny as well (even in the 2008 Hoffenchard throwback kit). He should've taken me up on my offer to apply his embrocation for him. Homo-eroticism is Mother Nature's Sportslegs. In his defense, he was caught behind a spectacular crash on the first lap. After Sunday's humiliating performance, it's back to the drawing board. Two weeks before Hendersonville so that means either take this weekend off or get more of the same in Charlotte. Best part of the day was watching a CX4 racer projectile vomit the entirety of his stomach after the race. I thought it a fitting metaphor for Hoffenchard's weekend performance.

After a poor showing, Tony renounces his beliefs and reutrns to hardcore Satanism:

Colorado Cross Classic/ Boulder Cup

2011-11-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

Both days proved to be quite the sloppy slick mud fest that I was hoping for. Here is what went down.

The course dried out a bit for the Elite men and women with the mid afternoon sun, leaving only one or two sections of slick shit.
Ryan Trebon won a race. Yippie...
Katie Compton won a race. Yawn...

I placed mediocre in the 3s. Obvs.

These two races really do prove that Boulder is one of the best areas in the country for cross. These courses were hard, techie but also fun as hell. They left you spent and having the post race hack but with a smile ear to ear. Add the mud and sunny but chilly weather and you got on hell of a weekend of racing, not to mention the level of competition out here. A Junior, whom started 2 minutes behind the 3s and 1 minute behind the single-speeds, caught and beat both fields. I mean what do they feed these kids out here?!

If you want to get a little more peep this or use the Google machine or check just about any cycling website, duh.

As for me, I may just take a little break from racing, T minus 17days!

Mud.

2011-10-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

Day One

Day Two Full report coming soon...

Big Weekend.

2011-10-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend is set to be one of the biggest cross weekends here in the front range. We got the Colorado Cross Classic tomorrow at the infamous Res and the Boulder Cup on Sunday at the brand spanking newish Valmont Bike Park. If you've heard or seen, Boulder got a generous dusting of snow this week, generous being around 14". Its steadily been melting with temps reaching the 50s during the day so my guess will be a nice muddy/tacky course tomorrow. Earlier in the week and last week they decided to get a bobcat at literally dig the course out. Should be rad.
Sundays Boulder Cup should also be interesting with Valmont's built in cross features, The Sand Pit, Belgian Steps and the 5280 run up. Peep this of an earlier season race I'm pretty pumped for both races but the change in the weather has done work on my sinuses. We'll see..

Greenville Cross In the Park #1

2011-10-27T08:27:00.001-07:00

Been a somewhat busy cross season here in WNC. We had the Wednesday night training series, and the new Asheville Cyclocross series to keep me busy, as well as the MSG series just over the border to the North in Tennessee. This past weekend was the first race in Greenville of the new Cross In The Park series in Cleveland Park. My kind of course...mix of singletrack and high speed tech stuff with minimal all out power sections. I-9 Drew and Eric from Liberty Bicycles made the trip as well and seeing as how I have raced them a few other times this year I knew it would be tough. Drew was coming off 3 straight wins and Eric is quick Cat 2 that crushed me a few weeks ago at the Pisgah Brewery race. My goal was to get a good start, and then hang on. Little did i know that i would be attacking on the last lap and taking my first win ever.

Start of our race. Only 8 of us, and that quickly whittled down to me, I-9 Drew, Liberty Eric, and 16 year old Charlie Hough.

Coming through a fun little hump on the first lap

Liberty Eric leading us through the singletrack. It was a gradual climb followed by a really fast, fun down hill section (black framed pics courtesy of Brado who was out shooting the race)

Coming through the finish. Note my wife KB wildly clanging her cowbell on stage right! Rode strong and smart but had to use up some luck points...i noticed my rear tire start to steadily lose air about halfway through the race. By the end of the last lap it was rolling all over the place. Afterwards while we sat around and chatted, it gave up and with a little hiss it went completely flat.

Tuesday lunch ride

2011-10-18T13:09:00.001-07:00

Just a few shots from the lunch ride today over to Terry's Gap and through the hills surrounding work. Also, I ran over a squirrel.

Random Footage

2011-10-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

The start of Day 2 of Charm City. I roll up in the back...

Frisco CX Report

2011-10-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

Frisco, the wonderful land of altitude sits at out 9,000ish feet. So thin air would been an issue. I was there most of the day representing The Pros Closet so I had pretty much the whole day to acclimate myself. It was a beautiful day, mid 70s slightly overcast, hardly Colorado at altitude in October.

The race was put on at the Frisco Nordic Center and they added to the coolness fact by using old ski poles as all and I mean ALL the course markers.Plenty of time to relax before my 4oclock start time.

The course was a mix of long paved climbs, mulch covers single track, gravel/sand pits and some pretty gnarly loose rocky down/up hills.

So... some how or another I managed to crash pretty well going through the series of 5 small telephone pole sized barrier half way through the first lap while I was sitting about 8th. My bike found its way in the center of the course while I was outside the course tape, wtf?! So after the majority of the field had passed I was able to get my bike and continue on. Shit! Chain's off! and I mean off, not even touching my crank, just hanging by the derailleur. It took me a second to get it back on. Once I was up and going I was sitting dead last with probably a minute to the next guy and seeing the SS class rounding the corners behind me. Once I got going I knew I was in for a rough day.

Amazingly the legs answered my call. I was making up ground and doing it fast! I had guys trying to hang onto my wheel on the long paved up hill. After crushing it for about 40 minutes I had clawed my way back to 15th. In my opinion I think I can call that a successful race, the legs and lungs felt good, I was railing turns and clipping back in first attempt. The only thing I could think was, If only...

Now I'm not quite sure what clicked, I can only hope that it will click again.

USGP this weekend in Ft.Collins!

Mills River

2011-10-03T18:43:00.001-07:00

Josh and I headed over to North Mills River last Thursday to photograph Stage 3 of the Pisgah Stage Race, which covered Spencer Branch and Gap, Fletcher Creek, Trace Ridge, and Bear Branch. There was a pretty good showing of some baller pros and locals, which made for an exciting couple of hours in the woods. We set up on an exposed rock face section of Lower Trace and I can only be blamed for causing one wreck the entire day (sorry!! You're supposed to look at the trail while racing, not the photographer!). After shooting Josh had to be a good house husband and run some errands so I did a short solo loop up FS 5000 and Spencer Branch and "down" Trace. I use "down" loosely, bc although it's considered a downhill there is prob more climbing on it than on the while Tsali loop that I rode earlier last week. And as it was a Thursday, of course it was followed up by Papas & Beer.

Post From My iPhone

Tsali

2011-09-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

I love Tsali. I don't care that I live in Asheville and I'm supposed to love Pisgah with it's technical bullshit and gnarly downhills - I don't. I love Tsali with it's minimal climbing and gradual downhills. We actually never come out to Tsali except for the once a year that we race 12 hrs of Tsali in the spring, but I happen to be staying in Cullowhee this week for a workshop and it's 45 mins to Tsali from here, which is 45 mins closer than going from Asheville. So yesterday during my early afternoon 3 hour reflection period, I raced on over to ride Thomson loop for 7 miles and headed back. It was a perfect day and was a super fun, low key ride by myself. Only stopped for a few cheesy/scenic/fall pics, but thought I'd do a quick post since Kyle keeps yelling at everyone to post more.

Kisses,
KB

-- Post From My iPhone

Xilinx CX

2011-09-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

Boulder Racing Cross race @ Xilinx went off pretty much exactly how last weeks race went. I had a good start, this time trying to hold back a bit so I wouldn't blow up like I did the week previous.
Unfortunately my plan did not go to... well plan. I once again kept moving back, finding my legs just couldn't answer my commands. My back was completely wasted by lap two, which after thinking about it means I should probably not be riding a -10 Thomson Elite stem. Yea I know, duh! I'm switching it up this week.

On a more lighter note:
Team Pegasus spotting in the women's 4s. What?!

Also many of you may have read Kenny's stories from Charm City. He told of drug laced Twizzlers hand ups.
Well here on the Front Range, we do Bacon! Bacon, Whiskey, Beer and Cross, That's what Boulder does!!
To quote the man in charge of said hand ups,
"Gluten free, dairy free, meat free bacon!"
For those of you that know what Boulderites are like, you understand the humor here.

So now I'm debating taking this weekend off, reassessing what the F may be going on with my cross legs. Stay tuned.

Eric vs Bent Creek

2011-09-23T09:10:00.001-07:00

On a spirited closure to the Thursday night social ride, Eric dropped joshie and shortly after a rhododendron dropped Eric. 13 stitches - 7 in his upper lip, 6 on his chin.

-- Post From My iPhone

CX Race Report #1 Valmont

2011-09-19T19:17:00.001-07:00

The course at Valmont Bike Park is like no other cross course you could think of. It has a mix of dirt road, single track, berm filled downhills,

a monster sand pit,the Belgian Stairs, and the leg killing 5280 run up.As for my race, lets just say things just did not go as planned. My start was great, settling into 4th after the first half lap going into the 5280. I thought all was good, just sit in hang with the boys at the front, try and make a move if someone bobbled or I could tell they were suffering. That strategy quickly went out the window. I was the one who kept making mistakes and paying for them. Although I had ridden the sand pit every time during warm ups I couldn't make it cleanly across and it cost me a good 2-3 spots each time. About half way in I hit the wall, BIG TIME. The legs locked up and said, "sorry sucka we're out this piece!" and I kept falling back. I ended the day in 17th. Not at all where I had hoped to be. Hopefully I'm blaming it on the 1st race jitters. Lets hope I'm right.

This weekend race will be a Xilinx, a course that if I remember correctly should be less of the up down style at Valmont. Hopefully my form will show its reluctant fat ass face.

A Piece of Hoff History

2011-09-17T11:15:00.001-07:00

Who wants a piece of Hoffenchard history? After a summer of debate and riding in the CO Rockies. I have decided its finally time for the leap to a geared mtb bike. Parting ways with this gem will be no easy feat. Its been ridden to the historic 12hr of Tsali Hoff podium sweep, passed down to me from the "godfather" of Hoff and much like all my bikes become an extension of me...ha! If anyone is interested shoot me an email @ teamhoffenchard@gmail.com

In other news, today is the first ever cross race at
I'm pretty pumped that cross is finally getting underway.

Hoffenchard 2.0

2011-08-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Check it. Hoffenchard has a new revamped Facebook page.

give it a LIKE and glance at some of Hoff's past adventures. Be on the look our for all the upcoming cross antics (cross is coming up fast)....! Booyah!

I am also told that the infamous Hoffencross is happening today. Totally bummed I'm missing it. Should be Epic!

2011-08-11T08:02:00.001-07:00

Banned 90's LUNCHABLEZ commercial - watch more funny videos

2011-07-28T09:45:00.001-07:00

ORAMM 2011

2011-07-27T05:53:00.000-07:00

A little over 3 weeks ago ole Kenny threw his back out and asked me if I wanted his ORAMM entry if he couldn't make it. I think i told him something like, "I don't know". We left it at that, then he throwed his back out AGAIN, and asked me if i wanted his entry. Against my better judgement I said yes. I had been riding steady all year, but not in the 3 weeks leading up to this. I had 2 weeks notice to get ready for 63 miles and 11000 feet of climbing.

Long story short, I finished my first ORAMM in 6:42 and change (95th overall, 500 entered). Couple of pics courtesy of Lightbox productions. Elevation and course map from Blue Ridge Adventures.

Heading up Kitsuma. We did this in the morning and on the way back in at the end of the day. Basically 2.5 miles of steep switchback climbing (with 4 miles of gradual climbing before this...) with an equal amount of shredding the gnar on the backside descent.

Creek crossing at the bottom of heartbreak. We did this twice, on the way out (climbing), and on the way back (DH). Less than 15 miles left at this point, but with the Kitsuma climb in between you and the finish.

Special thanks to Mr. Klatte for his entry...i probably would have never entered this without his generosity and weak back. Also thanks to New Belgium Brewing, who had a beer tent at the finish, with free beer, which i beelined to the second i crossed the line.

Time to mix it up again....

2011-07-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

After about a month and week post surgery and I'm starting to feel somewhat strong on the bike again. I think it's time to mix it up and test the race legs out at the North Boulder Park Crit. I need to get some racing back in the legs to start getting ready to ramp up for cross. Yes I said cross, its already on my mind and I'm gearing up now! Get ready biotches....

"That was irrational of you... not to mention unsportsmanlike."

2011-06-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

Sheesh what a weekend. I had hopes of driving up to Pisgah on my day off Friday but the green blob on the radar directly over Pisgah didn't look promising so I decided to head to FATS. The plan was to ride the less popular Deep Step, Big Rock and Tower trails first and then come back towards the parking lot and finish on the all-too-popular Brown Wave and Skinny loops. The trails were deserted and in pristine shape. I can't remember having so much fun on a bike. Big Rock counter-clockwise and Tower clockwise are easily some of the best riding imaginable. Fast, flowy but not as pump trackish like Great Wall or Brown Wave. There are some steep climbs and even steeper, very tight descents. Even though a shower had passed through overnight, the trails were dry with the corners quite tacky. Coming back on a conenctor trail, I overcooked a tight lefthand turn and kicked my leg out to prevent a crash. I instantly felt my back muscles seize and then give out. I had pulled my lower back yet again (September 2010 was the last occurrence) and hobbled to the car. Fuck. I was on my back unable to move Friday and Saturday and then spent 3 1/2 hours in a car Sunday driving to the Dinosaur Jr / Off! concert in Atlanta. Incredible show. Off! blew me away. Their lead singer, Keith Morris, was the front man for the Circle Jerks. Their guitarist played in Burning Brides. The bass player was from Red Kross(!) and their drummer Mario Rubalcaba played in Rocket From The Crypt and Hot Snakes! So yeah, pretty much a super-group. Dinosaur Jr. performed "Bug" in its entirety along with a few other hits. Still one of the loudest bands you will ever encounter. Although the show was amazing, my back paid for it dearly and after missing work Monday and Tuesday, I am sitting here on a Wednesday morning at my work desk, typing this in agonizing pain. Such is life. I hope to be back on the bike in a few weeks.
Here is OFF!

Here is the sherm pipe I found at FATS. Scraped the resin out for some foil hits on the drive back home to ease my back pain.

Here is Dinosaur Jr:

Fairwell dear friend...

2011-06-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

If you've even hung or tried to hang with the Hoff crew you have undoubtedly heard about the "Burrito Ride". Well Joshie dropped this little nugget of information on me last week. Yo Burrito is no more!!! I know... WTF!! I guess with the Hoff crew not giving the place a stead flow of drunkards they couldn't stay afloat. So on that note, A photo bomb for you Yo Burrito...

not burrito related but just because

Also I do realize that these photos IN NOW WAY represent the shit that has gone down on burrito rides. I merely inherited the tradition. So dig deep through your photos Hoffs lets see what you got! Do it for Yo! Single tear.

Belated Burn 24 Hour report

2011-06-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

Early in the year I talked Chad into doing the duo category at the Burn 24 Hour. Seemed like a fun idea at the time. He had never done a 24 hour race and i had only attempted a duo once at the 24 hrs of Adrenalin in Conyers around 2004. I made it to around 2am before i climbed in the tent with B and called it quits (B went on to finish solo). Fast forward to May 27th...Chad, Andrea, and I are riding Mad Max style in the Cane Creek work truck down I-40 headed to Wilkesboro to set up camp and pre-ride. I don't have any pics of the course but it didn't seem so bad. Some climbing, lots of roots, some fun downhills. Afterwards, we headed to Amalfi's Italian Restaurant and discovered the best reason to ever go back to Wilkesboro...Beer in a boot.

Beer dranked, we called it a night and headed back to camp. Saturday dawns and I finally talk Chad into doing the lemans start AND the first two laps. Awesome. From there on we were 2 laps on, 2 laps off. The small hills on the course suddenly seemed bigger, and the roots were super slick and massive.

Chad stayed calm and collected. I, on the other hand was mentally and physically all over the place from lap 1 until my last lap. One lap would suck, the next would be great. That continued most of the night. Chad didn't break down until around 1am i guess. Thank dog, i couldn't believe how easy he was making it seem considering he had just come off the couch a month earlier.

I thought we would settle into a nice groove and churn out moderate laps. Turns out we were actually racing, and had been for 13 hours, something i wasn't completely expecting. After looking back at our lap times we had consistently ridden mid to high 40 minute laps for the first 12 hours. 50 + minute laps didn't come until after midnight and even then they were only 5 minutes or so off the pace of most of our day laps. That explains why the pace felt so hard.

Around midnight we were in 8th or 9th place out of 15 teams. By 7am we had moved up to 4th, 30 minutes out of 3rd place. This was good and bad. Good because we had dominated through the hardest part of the race to move up, bad because with sunrise, I had also expected to ease off. Andrea talked me off a cliff a couple of times when I was mentally thrashed and we pushed on through to the finish. We never caught 3rd, so 4th place it was and we were happy with that. 28 laps total, 208 miles. Hardest race i've ever done.

What do we have here??? 7'ish on Sunday morning.

Like a boss...click to get the full effect.

Finishing the 6:30 -8am shift

Me: this course can eat a dick. Chad: yawn. I just had a nap, a hot dog, and a pack of nutter butters.

Mr. Happy off again. Very Nice!

Low point of the race for me. Lap 12 of 14. Sleep deprivation mixed with racing is a bitch.

Finishing up.

Done.

Interesting tidbits...evidently Chad has a son (see pic below). They met for the first time at Amalfi's. You'll have to ask him about that one. Chad's nipples also instantly chafed on the first lap. He wore band-aids over them from lap 2 till the finish. I have pictures but only for the right price.

Also, putting a portable grill together 30 minutes before the start is not the best use of time.

Thanks to Andrea for being Directeur Sportif for the weekend. Not only did she get us a boss pit site, she stayed up all night making sure we were ready to go when it was time. Thanks also to Kel and Josh for cooking and generally keeping up with all our shit and having it ready when we needed it.

That is all, thanks for coming.

12 Hours of Tsali Observations

2011-05-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

First of all, it was hot. Real hot, even for Tsali. The attrition rate was high and the enthusiasm for churning out laps on a dusty course was low. Jerm and I pondered finding some cheebah to smoke after his 4th lap but I had to peace out and besides, my drug season doesn't officially start until Bastille Day. But anyway, apologies to Jerm for not having anything on hand. Apologies to Herb for leaving before saying bye but considering his laps were averaging three hours, I couldn't risk it. Plaudits to the all women team of Kelly, Lauren and Andrea for scoring a solid 4th place. Interesting hand-off technique as evidenced by the pic...

Chad was pro-tastic manning the lap counter clipboard as interim team director. Times, laps, splits, places, caloric intakes, etc. Chad was on top if it. Here, he and Kel discuss mid-race strategy and resuming the team doping program....

Eric acted as team mechanic. He did a good job adjusting shifter cables and lubing Chris Strout's chain, liberally. I seem to remember Eric grilling some hotdogs as well. Jesus, they were delicious. Is there anything that man won't throw on a portable gas grill? Then my camera battery died. Watching the suffering made me wish I was out there.... swimming in the lake with a Busch Light surrounded by hillbilly lake pee... not racing! New Hoff kits are all black. Should be interesting come late August...

Hoffencross 2011

2011-05-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

August 20th. This could be you if you win this year...

The World is Creepy Small

2011-04-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

I was out riding Kokopelli yesterday and ended up riding Troy Built with a couple fellas. After the ride we were chattin it up and it turns out these dudes were from Calgary, eh and were visiting Moab for a week and had just come up to ride here in Junction for the day. After sharing life stories one of the guys asks me if I have ever heard of one Rich Dillen, and I'm like "ummm,cha bra, why?". Apparently this dude is his teammate at the Breck Epic. No shit. Mind. Blown.

Race Report: Mead Roubaix

2011-04-13T17:58:00.001-07:00

Mead Roubaix = Epic hurt! I cant say I've ever experienced a race or even a ride quite like this. The course, the weather, the competition all made this race a true tough man's or woman's challenge. The course ended up being extremely sandy forcing a lot of riders off their bikes. Heading west there was about a 25+/- mph wind destroying any kind of rhythm you may have had and crushing the souls of riders left without a group. Races broke up before the half way mark of the first lap. If you missed the group you missed out.
As far as my race... I cant really say I'm happy or unhappy with it. I ended up 30th out of about a 75ish field where only 48 actually finished so I'm ok with that. I had my hopes set on a top 20 but dudes are strong out here. I think actually finishing this thing was a feat in its own right. So Mead Roubaix, check!

Peep the Garmin data

If you want to check out some more info/pics/video check it out here. 303cycling or over at CyclingDirt

Here is what I'm eying up next: either The Koppenberg or Superior Morgul Classic with some crits thrown in here or there.

Front Range Hoff OUT

Time to test the legs.

2011-04-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

While most cycling fans will be on the couch or in front of the computer watching Paris Roubaix, cyclist on the front rangee will be mixing it up in our own "hell of the north" Mead Roubaix.
The weather has been going in and out but odds are that were in for a very northern France/Belgian style of race.
I for one am pretty excited/nervous, having always wanted to do a race like this and feeling pretty fit and dropping a bit of my "winter" weight but knowing the level of competition here in Boulder can shut down the ego pretty quick.
I've got the whip ready with some 25c Continental Gatorskins, K Edge chain watcher and some clear protective tape for the DT, underside of the chain-stays and front of the fork blades.
Let's see how it goes...

Dropped

2011-03-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

I finally built J's pink Waterford (Shimano Tiagra!!! Gold Bike Ribbon tape!!! Jagwire cable stops!!!!!) and shepherded her on the old Pain Train loop Kelly and I used to ride before she tricked Eric into marrying her. Shimano is fairly easy to install but dear God, I can't wait to put some fucking Campy on there. Anyhoo, we got to the longish climb right after the lakefront that starts gradually and then kicks up. I let her go ahead, warning her, then waited for her to bog down before unleashing my attack. Note the Volvo team car in the background. Head games already and it's only March.

Spooky results

2011-01-07T04:38:00.000-08:00

Images I received this morning when searching for pics of a Spooky Skeletor road bike.

Hoffencross...

2011-01-06T05:36:00.001-08:00

Feb 5th, weather depending. In typical Hoff style, start training in 3 weeks and you might win a tall boy and steal Chad's pride.

Va Du Mar Cyclocross

2010-12-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning was the Va Du Mar cross race in Spartanburg. Driving up from Columbia, it was raining cats and dogs and the winds were around gale force. The clouds were a gray black and the temperatures were in the low 30s. No worries as the conditions would be prime cross weather and also provide an excellent testing ground for my new "run the lowest tire pressure possible" theory. I showed up at 30 psi, but after a brief walk around the course, I lowered down to a little over 20. The ground wasn't too slick on the backside because of pine straw but the frontside of the course was a mixture of mud and red clay that was quite saturated. I sat in my car with the heater on and listened to NPR to relax my mind. The race was at 10 and it was only 9:15. I texted Eric and he said he was snowed in so no race for him. Ah, such is life. At 9:30, I got out of the car and ran over to registration. I signed up, ran back to the car through a driving rain and continued to stay warm. As "Morning Edition" wrapped up, I pinned my number on my jersey, kitted up and finally got out around 9:55. 10 of us lined up and the race official was laudably brief with his instructions. From what I had seen, the opening pavement would 90 degree into a lefthand turn onto mud and clay. Not wanting to eat it hard at the opening, I started gingerly, in 5th position as we entered the slick section. A roadie from Charleston gapped the other 4 riders in our group as we entered some mud/grass off camber turns. More hairpin sections and it was into a 5 step run up. After the run up, a slow, wet climb and then a quick hairpin into the woods. The roots were slick in this section not to mention my wheel bottoming out several times. I assumed if I flatted, it would be here. At the end of the woods was one barrier that fed directly into a steep ditch. You had to run up it then remount, only to dismount 50 yards later at two more barriers. After that, it was a long but not too steep climb (through red clay) back to the pavement and the start finish. By the end of the first lap, we had regained contact with the roadie and had sadly dropped our friend Justin (a kindred soul from Columbia). On lap 2, it was me, some guy on a Specialized and another guy in a NCCX kit. We rode together until the grassy, off camber hairpins where Specialized and I dropped him. After the five step run-up, Specialized kicked a little on the uphill, constantly looking over his shoulder. I guess he was feeling good and probably thought I was in trouble upon hearing my labored breathing. He was correct in his assumption, but my legs felt great and at the start of lap 3, I rode in the front as I noticed NCCX was trying to bridge up. The thought crossed my mind that I would rather bonk but finish second than relax and have to duel for 3rd. I noticed Specialized was dismounting and running the grassy off-camber hairpin while I was riding it. I realized that this was where I could open a gap on him. After the 3rd lap, they told us one more lap as our times were pretty fucking slow because of the conditions, not lack of trying. Specialized jumped in front of me on the pavement and accelerated into the mud. I stayed with him and when we got to the grassy, off-camber hairpin, as soon as he started his dismount motion, I clicked up a gear, ducked inside and stomped up the hill past him. I looked over my shoulder when I arrived at the run-up and didn't see him. Huh! I was surprised that my asshole move worked but stranger things have happened. I rode through the woods carefree as my rim clanged against roots, my tubes happily bearing the brunt. I got to the second set of barriers and heard my Mom on the side jingling her car keys in lieu of her beloved cowbell, still clad in her church clothes. I rode up the long clay ascent and rounded onto the pavement covered in a mixture of bog water and a nacreous layer of clay goop. The best part of the race was the pressure washer they had. Completely awesome! I went over to the race officials tent and as I checked the results, the race organizer handed me a giant bag of Cameroonian roasted coffee and some tall wool Globalbike socks for my 1st place. I thanked him, said bye to my 'rents and sister and then realized I still had two Handel "Messiah" gigs to play later that day.

Mud Sweat and Gears CX finale

2010-12-06T19:06:00.000-08:00

Decided to stick a little closer to home this past weekend and head up to Unicoi, TN for the MSG season finale at the Farmhouse Gallery and Gardens.

I would imagine the course would be turbo awesome with a mix of really fast sections and a decent amount of elevation change. I say "imagine" because Saturday was 3o minutes of sleet, rain, deep mud and 35 degree temps.

However, there is something romantic about trudging through 4" of mud in the sleet on a cross bike with guys drinking from a keg on the top of the course. At least that's what i told myself as i tried not to eat shit.

After an over enthusiastic holeshot and 2 really bad attempts at cornering in the mud i settled into 5th place. Taking Kenny's advice (attack on anything resembling a hill) I "attacked" (hardly) on an uphill section, moved into 4th place, and then got attacked by some dude on a singlespeed the next lap. Tried to chase him down, and got close, but it was not to be.

I managed not to crash or flat, which the way this year has been is a win in my book, and rode by myself most of the race, finishing 5th.

I Messed Up (Broke) My Shifter 2 Laps In...

2010-11-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

But Joshie got some fucking raw ass footage of me goofing around on the last lap. You can't see it but I was stuck in my smallest cog for the final two laps. C'est la vie.

CHARLOTTE CX REPORT!

2010-11-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

Not much to report. I started in row 3 or 4. The start was slow for those of us in the back. Rolled through the first straightaway and then hit the steep downhill and got in where I could fit in. Grabbed a bunch of easy spots on the first run-up and then reeled in 4 or 5 riders over the course of the next 3 laps or so. Realizing everybody else was out of reach, I called it a day. How fortuitous. I was 30 yards from the finish when I made that decision, so it goes. The sandpit was fun and according to Josh, quite bonkers at times with riders flailing here and there, to and fro. The only set of barriers was on a slight uphill after a sharp turn so that wasn't too sketchy. First cross race I've ever gotten to lap somebody. Weird. You end up feeling a bit like a jerk. Eric and I are doing Hendersonville this weekend so that means serious racing Saturday and then some sort of hangover-centric recovery race Sunday. Wish I had the foresight to order that skinsuit. Feels too much like Amateur Night At The Apollo in a standard kit. Don't let me forget to switch out the latex tubes before Saturday. Pretty sure I have a Spanky DNF in my future if I try and run that set up one more time. Things of interest: Dropped my I Pod outside Josh's car. Was still there after the race. I refused to hug Eric's mom (I was filthy). 68 degrees or warmer is the cut-off temp for water bottle hand ups. Riding by yourself in headwinds is dumb. Attacking on anything resembling an uphill is smart.

USGP New Belgium Cup Photo Dump

2010-11-14T19:42:00.000-08:00

There was snow, it was COLD, it was MUDDY, it was SLICK!!!

Colt from Cyclingdirt.org doing his interview thing.

Elite men start

USGP New Belgium Cup

2010-11-11T18:44:00.000-08:00

This weekend is the USGP New Belgium Cup up in Ft.Collins. After my recent back problems (probably suffered while playing extreme frisbee at work) I've decided not to race. Instead the plan seems to be head up north, do a brewery tour or two, grab some lunch, check out some rad ass cross racing, more breweries, dinner, then maybe, possibly head home. Most people know that I would rather race/ride my bike any day of the week rather than watch but this time I think it best to leave to the serious folk. Don't worry I'll update later with all the goodness.

Colorado Cross Week

2010-11-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

Halloween weekend marked the biggest cross race weekend here in my new home of Boulder, CO. The Colorado Cup NACT (thats North American Cyclocross Trophy series for you noncrossers out there) #5 was Saturday out at the Boulder Reservoir and the Boulder Cup NACT #6 was Sunday out at Interlocken Mall in Broomfield. I'll be the first to admit I was in full nerd mode. As some of you know I've been waiting a looonnnngggg time to see a pro level cross race and man did these two deliver. Let me tell you the story via pictures.

The Boulder Res and it's infamous sand pits.

My buddy Justin England, who many years and lbs. ago raced pro for Toyota United, Cal Giant, among others. He had the in and let me tag along and meet all the elites. Thanks buddy!

Compton leading Gould

TJ through the sand

Your winner Jeremy Powers

and new NACT series leader
The Boulder Cup (racin at the mall)

Elite Woman's winner Georgia Gould.yea cross is kind of a big deal here

J-Pow out front... Again

Kabush

Wells leads TJ through some sketch off camber. Pretty much the entire course was off camber technical actually and the laid down grass made it super slick

Elite men's podium: Wells, TJ, Jamey Driscoll

New NACT series leader

It just wouldn't be cross with out a bag-o-beer

and Halloween costumes
please note the Yeti

NACT champion's belt. True WWF style. Thing must have weighed about 15lbs. too
Boyah!

Picasa Web Album: Colorado Cup

Picasa Web Album: Boulder Cup
be sure to watch the videos of Adam Craig riding EVERYTHING. Seriously I don't think I saw him dismount all weekend.

Cross RULES!!!

NCCX #3, Boone Cross, aka DNF Train

2010-10-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

(circular thingie)

Spoiler for those who dont have time to keep reading...i flatted on lap 2.5 while in 10th place, DNF'ed, and drove my ass home.

Kel and I decided to get out and mosey over to the defunct Hawksnest ski resort to enjoy some leisurely riding along old cart paths and greens formerly known as Hawksnest golf course. Despite our best efforts at arriving early we still didn't get there in time for me to pre-ride the course. We watched some pro's get their pro on, then i straddled a trainer for a little bit, got bored, put my number on, lubed my taint up, and headed to the start of the 4's race. Don't even think about being late for the start of a 4's race around here. If you aren't toeing the line the second the they let you, you're fucked. I rolled straight to the front, put my shit in the big ring, and upon hearing the start whistle, pushed off and couldn't find my pedal to clip in. Sheesh.

(coming out of the litter box)

Anyway, all was not lost so I threw some 'bows in the narrow starting straights, and hit this big circular thingie in 9th place. Jesus, thank dog i was near the front because the shit hit the fan behind me. Kel has awesome pics...it looked like I-95 on a holiday weekend. Mother f'ers blowing through tape, crashing, walking. It was insane. Anyway, made it through the tallest barriers ever, up a super aggro off camber section, through some serious whoops, then through a section called the litter box (aka sand trap), up a steep ass hill, up another hill, through an awesome sand pit, ANOTHER circular thingie, and then a totally rad DH back to the start.

(start of aggro off camber section)

Lap 2...I'm winning 10th place, getting my I'm blown the fuck up on, make it to the 2nd circular thingie, begin shredding the gnar on the DH, then decide to jump the little bump at the bottom of said DH. Pop off the jump, land, then hear my tire almost roll off the rim. Note to self, no more rad getting in race situations... I continue my race, roll past the start finish for my 3rd lap, into the 1st circle and poof, flat ass fucking tire, on a really nice latex tube no less. Guess when i almost rolled the tire, the tube squeezed in there and pinched.

(end of aggro off camber section)

Seems like every time i do a cross race I screw up. I used to enjoy crashing real hard, but now i have flats to look forward to. Oh well, the course was rad and the atmosphere was great...beer was everywhere, DJ, fireworks in the course you had to ride through, and a tandem category.

(steep ass, loose hill)

A parting booty shot for all our fans.

BlueSky Cup and Boulder Cx #3

2010-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the nerve to get my first dual days of racing. Saturday was the BlueSky Cup. It was, I must say, the most organized/pro style race of the year (so far). There was a high school marching band jamming during the races, a heavy metal band on the far side of the course, an announcers trailer/stage all in all pretty rad. Check it here. Of course like the idiot that I am, I left my camera at home. My buddy Aaron decided to come mix it up in the single speed class. Aaron is the man behind Mosaic Cycles (rad ass custom Ti and steel bikes). Be sure to check him out on Facebook to see what he has been up to lately. It was really nice to have someone there with me instead of being by my lonesome self as usual.

Sunday was the Boulder Cx Series race #3. The course had two huge run ups that were a killer, especially for the non-runner like yours truly. Check it here.

Amanda Miller-Subaru Hudz the woman who took both days (at least I'm pretty sure)

Jake Wells-Subaru Hudz the man that took both days (I'm positive)

As for my races... Both went equally mildly crappy. I finished about 30ish both days in a field of about 50. I've come to terms that I'm not going to be mixing it up at the front of the 3s like I did back east. It really is another level on the front range. It won't however keep my from racing or trying to do my best but I'm thinking of this season as gaining knowledge base. Not to mention the courses here are back/shoulder/kidney jarring bumpy.

On another note, I'm more than stoked to be heading into the most exciting part of the season. We have the NACT series rolling into town next weekend for the Colorado Cross Classic and the Boulder Cup. Then the USGP series coming to town mid November for the New Belgium Cup. I'm so excited not only because I'll finally get to see some of the best crosser in the country but my race will be held earlier in the day so I can finally have some beers and watch the pros!!!

Cyclocross Update

2010-10-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

Because of numerous symphony gig conflicts, my cross racing schedule is shrinking faster than Grandpa's pud in the pool. That being said, now that I live 3 blocks from Owens Field Park, it's pretty easy to ride over, set up the barriers and have a fun 25 minutes of riding around in the grass and crashing on the dismounts one out of every 4 tries. Yesterday evening, I rolled over after work about 10 minutes before dusk. I set up the barriers and did a few "rounds". I stopped to take a sip of water and upon looking up, I noticed a crackhead, blank-faced staring right at me as he squatted behind the memorial stadium dumpster. It appears he was in mid-deuce when I started up my barrier practice. For some reason, I decided to ignore him and go back to practice as I had only a few more minutes of daylight. When I gathered the courage to look back at the dumpsters, the phantom shitter was gone. Only in Columbia. Jesus. Happy Halloween.

(Practice shots from last Friday)

Because of numerous symphony gig conflicts, my cross racing schedule is shrinking faster than Grandpa's pud in the pool. That being said, now that I live 3 blocks from Owens Field Park, it's pretty easy to ride over, set up the barriers and have a fun 25 minutes of riding around in the grass and crashing on the dismounts one out of every 4 tries. Yesterday evening, I rolled over after work about 10 minutes before dusk. I set up the barriers and did a few "rounds". I stopped to take a sip of water and upon looking up, I noticed a crackhead, blank-faced staring right at me as he squatted behind the memorial stadium dumpster. It appears he was in mid-deuce when I started up my barrier practice. For some reason, I decided to ignore him and go back to practice as I had only a few more minutes of daylight. When I gathered the courage to look back at the dumpsters, the phantom shitter was gone. Only in Columbia. Jesus. Happy Halloween.

Boulder CX #2

2010-10-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

This may be a day or two late but what the hell. So I decided instead of give you a run down of my race (which once again didn't go as planned) I would simply give you a little taste of the general vibe. The course was tough! Lots of thick muddy grass that sucked out every ounce of momentum you could muster. Lots of elevation changes, on and off the bike.

First glimpse of the Van Dessel Full Tilt Boogie. I'm definitely a fan of VD. Ha

BCS' Brandon Dwight
Georgia Gould raced the open men.

Open men lap 1. Quick note: the kid who got the hole shot and bunny hopped the up hill barrier, rode all the "run ups" is a junior and he has braces....boyah

Sumter Metric Century

2010-09-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

The Sumter Metric Century is hands down one of the strangest races of the year. It's got 3 loops of single track, long portions of paved road and dirt road connectors. Combined with super-hot temperatures and angry dogs and you've got the recipe for a wonderful and strange journey not unlike the second time I ever ate mushrooms during my freshman year at Boston University. Eric rode his cross bike while I stuck with my single speed Kona 29er. In hindsight, the cross option would've been better but such is life. My hindsight is just as poor as my foresight. Anyhoo, the race got cracking after a neutral roll-out and I was instantly gapped by most of the faster folk as I tried to fiddle with my I-Pod. I had a quaint little rap mix that I'd made and goddamn it, I was going to use it. I saw first place single speed ride away but I knew it was going to be hot and terrible so I bid him adieu and settled in for the first portion of dirt road. A mile or so of that and it was into the well known Turkey Creek trail. The trail was lovely and other than a few down logs had a good flow to it.

I eventually rolled up on two cross racers and knew Eric must be doing well to have gapped them this early. After a few more miles, I rolled up on first place SS and we rode together. I couldn't tell what gear he was running but we seemed to be around the same speed. As we approached SAG #1, he stopped while I continued on but was temporarily confused. Where is the trail? Where am I going? I rode in circles and then saw an angry trio of three riders coming up a dirt road. One of them was Eric. He said they lost a couple minutes going the wrong way. We re-grouped and headed into the Wine Creek trail portion of the race. To be honest, Eric was riding like a man possessed. Borderline reckless for a man on a cross bike gapping the two other guys in his group on several occasions. I rode last so I could watch Eric bunny hop logs at speed and avoid eating shit every other turn. Eventually, the guy in front endo'd on a log and as he flailed, Eric tried to go around him, T-boning the guy and his bike in the process. Eric mumbled an apology as the guy screamed and complained to Eric. It was hilarious. I guess Eric was pissed as he literally sprinted down the trail with the three of us in close pursuit. I hung behind the other two riders (both on 29ers) and watched them flail around on the rockier sections of Wine Creek. They didn't flail all that much to be honest but their handling skills seemed lacking, and thats coming from somebody who has zero handling skills. Eventually, I tired of their antics and rode around them and bridged up to Eric somehow. Eric and I chatted and tried to figure out who was ahead of us. The pavement section was pretty long so I tried to tuck in and spin as much as possible. The other two riders eventually bridged up to us and we rode into the longest and hilliest dirt road section of the race. After a little while, their pace was too much for my single speed so I had to wave goodbye and ride solo.

I passed a guy who told me he did some of the first Shenandoah 100s back in the day. Very cool, in addition to his vintage IF. After a few more miles of shadeless dirt road, I popped out onto some pavement and aimlessly spun to Lick Fork State Park. I waved hello to Chad at SAG #2 and turned into the Horn Creek loop. Jesus, by now it was really hot and I was starting to drink more Heed. Horn Creek was covered in pine straw and was eroded like a bastard. Luckily there was little climbing so I just rolled along, enjoying the hardwoods and the remnants of controlled burning and what looked to be a few acres of harvested trees. Upon rolling back into SAG#3, which was also #2 due to the fact that it's at the start and end of a loop, I was informed that they were out of water. I could stick around or I could continue. A woman offered me a cup of ice. That was kind of her. I decided to split and as I was leaving, the lady said "Well, we have Powerade but no water" Jesus, any liquid would do so I slurped down a cup, told Chad I loved him and how proud I was of his career as an accountant, and rode away down a long, exposed dirt road. By now it was over 90 degrees and I was low on water. Then I turned onto the longest portion of pavement and my morale instantly nosedived. I have never wanted gears so bad in my life. It was maddening. I kept thinking of Eric, probably big ringing it in his drops with those two other riders, sharing the work as I rode by myself into a very stiff headwind. I hated Eric so much. After riding past some angry dogs and a church that appeared to be having a wedding of some sort, I finally reached SAG #4. Chad informed me Eric and his riding partner were several minutes ahead. Shit. There would be no catching them. The third member of their group sat in a chair suffering from the heat crazies. I drank a few cups of Powerade as I was now extremely dehydrated and was a little weirded put by the heat suffering fellow slumped over in the chair.

On a mechanical note, during Wine Creek, I dropped my chain several times and I now noticed my tension bolts had slipped a little. Huh, how odd. I took out the multitool and re-tightened everything for Modoc, the last portion of single track. I said bye bye to Chad and rode into the woods with 15 more miles of racing left. Modoc was tons of fun but the 34X19 gearing started to hurt on the handful of steep climbs. I ended up riding with a guy who informed me his wife was also riding in the race. I'm always amazed at the married couples who do races together. I don't get it but maybe you have to be married to understand it. Oh well, I rode away from him on a climb and hit the last 5 mile portion of dirt road. It sucked the life out of me but as I hit the last portion of pavement, a small shower of rain opened up and cooled the temperatures off and buoyed my spirits for the finish. I crossed the finish and vowed I would never do this race again on a single speed. Then I ate a hamburger and watched Chad talk to a woman 40 years his senior about transcontinental motorcycle touring. Hoffenchard category sweep bitches! 1st place cyclocross, 1st place singlespeed!

"Kenny, what the fuuuuuck man?"

Colorado CX Numero Dos

2010-09-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

SO attempt #2 at CO cross racin went slightly better than the week before. Mo Diggity was in town to visit and I surprised her with her first cross race experience. I was lucky to have her to help me out with hand ups which proved to be crucial since the race was much like last week, dry, dusty and hot. I had a great start, sitting maybe 10-12ish and kept it up for the first two laps. I made two big dismount mistakes that proved to hurt me pretty bad. There was a fast straight section leading into 3 down telephone poles. I went it hot, seeing that I was a bit faster than the guys in front of me through that section. Unfortunately, my left foot did not want to come out of the pedal and I ended eating shit quite hard. My bike took a pretty significant hit, resulting in my from brake permanently rubbing HARD. I decided to pedal on until I reached the paved finishing section. I hit the pavement dismounted and gave the brake a good smack which seemed to do the trick although by that point 10-12 dudes must have passed by me. The legs and lungs definitely felt better this time around and I was able to make it back a bit and passed a few guys. I ended up 24th out of about 40 which I'm still some what disappointed with but I suppose it's a step in the right direction and I'm learning with every race. Hopefully I'll only be moving up from now on. Knock on wood.

Mo was kind enough to snap some pics and provide much needed hydration. (no it's not blurry, it was that dusty)

Although she didn't have to snap this one....As a thank you we took a trip into Denver to check out the Denver Zoo. Check out some pics of the animals here
We also took a drive up to see the remains of the Fourmile Canyon Fire. This photo really doesn't do the fire justice...
Crazy picture, diesel fuel tank=miss, house=hit, church=miss...
Definitely a fairly decent weekend. I missed my mother dearest....

F'n Rad

2010-09-23T17:35:00.001-07:00

had some buddies who went down to yosemite to work on this project last week (filming, film support). just amazing.

intro vid:

Wall from brian kimmel on Vimeo.

- a little more about steve and his super rad foundation: HERE

- his youtube page about the climb: GREAT VIDEOS HERE

and a parting vid of him finishing this past saturday:

inspiring man. inspiring life.

Race #1 down, well sort of...

2010-09-19T19:01:00.001-07:00

So today I went out for GSMV #1 Lookout Cross down in Golden to pop my CO cross race cherry.

Crossin in the Front RangeOpen Woman's field.
Meredith Miller = fastRad ass little staging area. Didn't see much of this back east.

So my race went off at 3:45 (last race of the day). Pretty much anyone who wasn't racing had already left. The course was super rocky/bumpy, super loose, super dry and dusty. It was also pushing the upper 90s and the course was based at a soccer field settled in between a golf course so there wasn't any shade. As a precaution race directors decided hand ups were allowed and encouraged and they also used the bike cleaning station's pressure washer to spray racers as they crossed by. So little ole no crew me I had to attempt no water. BAD IDEA! It reminded me of trying to ride during the middle of the day back in Cola except mixed in the steaming hot air was tons of dust and dirt. So imagine gasping for air but getting super hot dust in your lungs instead. I mean I'm still hacking up tons of shit and my eyes look like I just smoked a huge j.

Now some know I have a bit of an issue with saddle sores and I'm currently nursing a pretty significant one so the roughness of the course fucking killed! I'm prob taking several days off to heal up. My legs felt pretty decent but my lungs, oh my poor lungs, were destroyed! So I decided to call it a day. DNF. Yes I do hate those three letters and yes most people there were able to deal, but not this east coaster. I thought the altitude was the only thing I'd have to get use to. Better add kidney jarring rocky bumpy dusty cross courses to the list.

I did however catch this little tid bit.... HA.

Rough day, I feel like shit, FUCK!

Training, In A Snap

2010-09-14T10:22:00.001-07:00

Fourmile Fire

2010-09-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

In case you hadn't heard. My new home of Boulder has and is still suffering from one of the worst wild fires in Boulder County's history. Its crazy to think the area I just learned to ride is now chard and covered in ash. We've been watching the helicopters fill up at Wonderland Lake which is literal right across the street. Hopefully today's rain will help.

Check out this map of the affected area.I'm at the corner of Norwood Ave and Broadway. A little to close for comfort.

It's about that time

2010-08-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

Wednesday Cross Worlds should be starting up any time now here in Boulder and I am pumped! Who cares if I'm the slowest kid out there... I'm just excited to get back to cross...
I have a pretty full schedule planned out. Just about every Sat and Sun from September to December. Check it. This year ill be mixing it up on my Spooky Supertouch. I'm stoked!

(also nervous as shit, CO kids are FAST!)

Not Quite Colorado

2010-08-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

... but it's new and interesting to me! The 2011 Reba XX on the former rigid Kona...

A quick trip to Yeti & Apex Trails

2010-08-25T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to head down to Golden to pop my head in at Yeti Cycles and do a little riding at Apex Park. Ms. Sarah Rawley was kind enough to take a few minutes out of her busy day to show me around and drop some knowledge on Yeti and it products. Although I only snapped a few pics, they will not do this place justice. It is almost a museum/graveyard of Yeti's past. From what I happened to see there were tandems, road bikes, tons of old Arcs, tons of retired pros race bikes, a bunch of awesome stuff hanging around everywhere you could look. I also got to get up close and person with the new Big Top 29er. Ross Milan (current 4cross national champ) strolled the halls as Sarah showed me around. Although my visit was brief, they definitely have an awesome set up going there.

recognize that name? hes a pretty big deal

So after my visit I decided to go for a quick ride @ Apex park since it was right around the corner from the Yeti shop. These trails definitely got the best of me. I need gears or need to get super strong super quick! Pretty gnarly and technical stuff, lots of rock gardens, switchbacks with diagonal wood going across and plenty of water bars, some big rock drops, it also has some pretty intense climbs (1000' in about 1.2 miles). It seemed pretty straight up then straight down. I took a pretty nice spill coming down Pick' N Sledge (I think it was), scrapped up my forearms pretty good and put a baseball sized hole in a pair of bibs which I was pretty bummed about.

apparently a new rule they just put into place this year. One way for bikes on odd days. Pretty weird I have to say...

McNasty out.

more CO action

2010-08-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

So after slicing my finger open prepping the Misfit for its inaugural CO ride, I decided to take the weekend off from riding and let it heal up a bit before hitting the trails. I decided to explore the park across the street from me. Turns out there is a pretty good set of hiking trail built in to the park, so I explored.

After healing up a bit I decided to check out Heil Valley Ranch Trails.Check it out here: Heil Valley
Ended up doing: up Wapiti, left on Ponderosa to the Overlook, left on Wild Turkey down to Picture Rock, left down Picture Rock to the Lyons parking lot, turn around, back up Picture Rock, left Wild Turkey, left Ponderosa then a final left back down Wapiti.
A painful but awesome 3+ hours.
Check out this vid coming down Wapiti by Gregory Keller aka Mud & Cowbells
Also thanks to B.P.P.P for the 22t, it was much needed.

Man, our Tahoe vacation was fun...wasn't it, Brandon!

2010-08-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

More to come...

You ever fried chicken???

2010-08-12T16:11:00.001-07:00

That's the totally random conversation I just had at my favorite local Mexican joint, Papa's and Beer. The cordial gentleman next to me asked me this since he saw me reading about it. One too many Heineken's there broham.

Speaking of Papa's, it's been a couple of weeks since I've had it, and while on vacation out west nothing came close.

Except maybe this...

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Westward Crossing

2010-08-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

A quick photo dump or panorama dump of some sights from the drive across and in CO...

Downtown St.Louis (as viewed from the top of the Gateway Arch)

The Mississippi from the Arch

Red Rock Amphitheater
the view from William Frederick Cody aka Buffalo Bill's grave site.Estes Park (view from the top of the Estes Park Aerial Tramway)Coors Field Home of the Colorado Rockies ($12 tickets & $6 beers)
Rocky Mountain State ParkGarmin does a lot of good through R.M.S.P.

Trail Ridge Road

Your reward at the top.

I dropped off the old man at Denver airport this a.m. and immediately went for a much anticipated ride. Didn't want to do anything crazy with it being my first ride up here at altitude. Ended up doing a little over 30 miles and a little over 3000 ft climbing. Let me tell you the altitude kicks you in the ass. I felt pretty crappy the first hour (pretty good headache and nausea) but I think I began to adjust. I would have to say the riding out here is pretty spectacular. Pretty fucking RAD out here so far!

Peace out Cola!

2010-08-08T21:06:00.001-07:00

One last Burrito ride and lake w.e. for the McNasty before heading out west. It was definitely a weekend to remember.

one last jargarita... or maybe two...
yummmm. Caution! Remember to breathe.I love my John Deer hat. Yes I am from South Carolina.
O.P.P.P!
O.G.B.B.!

Miss you guys already!
Kisses, McNasty

stay tuned for updates from out west.

Great googaly moogaly we made it!!!

2010-08-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

1900 miles and 29 hours in 2 days. Welcome to Grand Junction, Colorado and the mountain bike capital of the world. We are hanging at the Affordable Inn (really) and trying to get places in the next day or two.

We're just waiting for the moving truck to get here next week with my mountain bike shoes... and for you people to come out and ride too.

Asheville Training Ride

2010-07-20T05:27:00.001-07:00

Because An Old Person's Imminent Death Is Kinda Awesome?

2010-07-09T08:50:00.001-07:00

Wet n Wild

2010-07-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

we've been talking about going to a water park since the cold days of winter. spankye had never been to one, so we we loaded up the fit along with chandrea and headed to wet n wild in greensboro, nc. a lively time was had by all, and the 3 most important lessons we learned are #1 - grown women who fight teenage girls in front of their crying children are trashy, #2 - there are a lot of bad tattoos out there, thankfully covered by clothing most of the time, and #3 - chick-fil-a has good fucking milkshakes.

Lunch ride goodness

2010-07-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Mom and pop produce stand on the side of Bearwallow Rd on one of our lunch ride loops up here. Straight up honor system and fresh from their farm.

Unicorns

2010-06-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Hoffencross 2010

2010-06-19T12:58:00.001-07:00

Went down. Kinda impromptu but fun as shit. Chad (ODB) served everyone with a cherry on top.

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Reunited

2010-06-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Kyle and Tony buried the hatchet and rode the entire FATS ride together. They're back and they're better than ever! Tony ate mad shit on the easy connector trail too. It was epic.

Saturday ride at FATS

2010-06-13T08:02:00.001-07:00

No ride or details just yet but Saturdays ride at FATS near Augusta was awesome. Except for Kel destroying her XO dérailleur while shredding the gnar. I'll leave you with this, a sign at country store right next to the trailhead, until i can post up more pics.

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Kel's new hotness

2010-06-01T18:51:00.001-07:00

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Burrito Night: Rosewood Still Run It

2010-05-28T07:13:00.001-07:00

12 hours of Tsali is SO Awesome!!!

2010-05-22T14:01:00.001-07:00

I heart the ER...

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

Lunch time pump track madness

2010-05-12T10:40:00.001-07:00

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

RIP anne smith

2010-05-06T22:12:00.001-07:00

You tried to resist his advances to no avail. Yes, the crazy dancer served you.

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

I wanna party

2010-05-06T22:00:00.001-07:00

I could only dream, that you the reader, were with me in St Louis right now. This homeboy, at the bar I am at, is dancing his nutsack off right now, and it's not pretty. Xoxo, spankye

-- Post From This Hoff's iPhone

With Love From Pisgah

2010-05-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Cheers fellas & gals - Nothin beats a frosty PBR during a long hot gravel grinder.

Things That Anger Eric Smith

2010-04-30T08:11:00.001-07:00

Burrito.
Rachael from PCC

EMPDeez

2010-04-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

Good guys win again! Snagged this before coworker Chris could abscond with it. Read 'em and weep you sucka! I got four more too you long haired freak! You can never out dig me! Do you hear? Never! NEVER!!! Also robbed homeboy of a Humble Pie LP at Goodwill last Friday. This is what Glen Rice used to refer to as "being in tha zone... my hands get all tingly"

Just a taste of awesomeness from Boulder, CO

2010-04-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

to check out a bit more: pics

Origami Yoda Mondays!

2010-04-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted here because I've done very little Hoffencharding as of late. Luckily, coworker Marcie had a birthday on the same night as the No Way Jose reunion show so that meant an end to my Hoff post drought in addition to ending my drunken debauchery drought. Let the good times roll? Of course. The evening started off innocuously enough. I wet my whistle with a vodka tonic as I watched the end of "House Of Satan" while scanning the results of Tour of Flanders online. Paul Sherwen's verdict: "Cancellara raped Boonen's tender, nubile, cycling asshole." Well, can't say I like Sherwen's colorful "word picture", but you can't argue with the result! A few V&T's later, I skipped over to New Brookland and offered up Birthday greetings to Marcie and her male companion Burt from Atlanta. They were holding hands like young lovers are prone to do so I found a particularly feculent spot at the bar and ordered my first ice-cold PBR tall boy. Local indie schlockers Mercy, Mercy Me were cranking up their set. One of the their guitarists broke his pelvis (!) the previous week falling off the roof of New Brookland in a drunken stupor. Needless to say, their "new " line-up of just guitar and drums with scream/singing was lackluster at best. "These guys aren't the White Stripes. Goddamn, they'e not even Godheadsilo! Fuck me, they're not even The Spinnanes!?" In an effort to flee the infernal racket, I ran outside and chatted with some kids who had just finished the April Fuels alleycat. One of the prizes was ONE Soma Everwear tire. ONE??? For Pete Seger's sake! Just give beer or Food Not Bombs patches or whatever those animals like instead of random bits of componentry. Lots of weirdly built fixed gears and correspondingly weirdly built hipsters leaned against railings smoking tobacco and making ironic comments about 80's sitcoms they were too young to have watched. "So, you were watching "Small Wonder" and "Silver Spoons" when you were a fetus? Get tha fuck outta here!" I felt the cranky old man brewing up inside me. God bless Hulu. I ran back inside, listened to Mercy, Mercy Me desecrating six centuries of western musical culture and ordered another tall boy.

(Hammered)The Yankees/Red Sox game was on so I pretended to be momentarily engrossed while people jostled for precious little bar space. Marcie and her lady friend Jaime were fairly plastered by now and sadly, I was well on my way to joining them as Mercy, Mercy Me 's set got progressively worse. I ordered yet another tall boy and turned back to watch the game. I felt a hand aggressively grabbing my right buttock and it was my friend CP. We played in a few bands together back in the day (CP had just quit this band for no good reason) and were now just two grown men who like to grab each other's buttocks in public. CP sold his car last year so he rides everywhere on his bizarro Raleigh single speed. Somehow, he totes his drums to gigs by bike but refused to tell me how. Chris and I debated the merits of my new 311 cover band (365 Chiba Fiendz, look for our debut 7" this summer), Early Hall and Oates versus PBS -TV- Special Hall and Oates, and various buttock grabbing techniques.

(No Way Jose in color coordinated, over-sized tank tops)No Way Jose were prepping for their set so we took our spots right-center for maximized rocking. Holy mother of Yoda. They built up the key-tar rock edifice and then completely destroyed it in 35 minutes of string shredding supremacy. Easily fits into my top 5 show of the year list. Think 8-Bit Nintendo with Superchunk with Drive Like Jehu with Six Finger Satellite. Drenched in sweat, we went over to the bar and toasted to the rock greatness with Coors Lights and more cigarettes. It was good to be in a beer-soaked hell hole at 1in the morning on a Sunday. The good news? More free shows at The Whig later this week and with the warm weather and Ole Blue sporting a new purple KMC chain, you can expect more posts about non-cycling adventures! Ciao ciao

A Saturday

2010-03-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

So Will the G and I decided to check out the Downtown Columbia Tri on Saturday. We didn't know anyone racing but since neither of us had anything going on (except our own riding and Criterium International viewing) and it being such a nice day we decided to check it out. I must admit I did not expect to see such a large turn out given Columbia bicycle unfriendliness and general obesity but over 300 peeps showed up for this thing.

Mad props to the guy who rode this thing...

and to this guy...
Afterward we went on our rides, viewed Criterium International and then decided to checkout the Black Bird Bicycle Co-op House Show Fundraiser. The Black Bird kids apparently decided to have some bands play at a house and ask for donations to help the co-op. Will and I scrapped together a few neglected wheels and some rarely used tools to donate and gain admission.
pretty interesting Saturday to say the least...

2nd Annual Hoffencross: Don't be there, AGAIN!

2010-03-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

That's right, shit is canceled twice now. Dicky, I know you are crushed but you will be able to get over it and move on. Trails are great up here (Bent Creek at least) but the ole lady and I are buying our first house and will be moving in around that time. Feel free to come up and help lug furniture, paint walls, and lend your interior design skillz though.

Race Weekend Update

2010-03-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

So to sum up this past weekend's races:

Saturday = mechanical. bent two chain ring teeth on the big ring. how the hell does that happen? Called it a day when the chain kept jumping allover the big ring maybe 3.5 laps in.

Sunday = now I know "raced at the back, stay at the back, get blown off the back". Unfortunately that's exactly what I did. It's cool though because I wasn't all that into and just raced because its something to do....

Colon Cancer Challenge this weekend...

Too close to pass up

2010-03-10T13:41:00.000-08:00

Damn! Is it road season already?

Here's the real question... Now that I've upgraded to Cat4 my races are later in the day. Now, do I jeopardize celebrating my heritage with the other countless hooligans in 5points? The tough choices I must make to bike race...

2nd Annual Hoffencross, Be There???

2010-03-01T10:31:00.001-08:00

2nd Annual Hoffencross: April 17th, 2010. DuPont State Forest. Time TBD

Sucks to have to reschedule to such a late date but Winter still ain't over and March looked bad for most people. If you think you are coming up please leave an "I Do" in the comments section.

update from the western front -

2010-02-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

not much new out here unless you like snow, backcountry skiing and tequilla. lots of that on all fronts really. started up "crossfit" to get my ass in shape and i actually like it. 6am, 4 days a week. go until you puke. (its kinda cultish, but if you treat it like a gym and just a workout you can manage not to get sucked into a strange dinner party that might end up like a 'roid induced orgy.) haven't been on the bike since . . . um . . . october, maybe november. whenever it was that kenny got his ass kicked at the 12hr. been climbing in the gym (i hear joshie and jess have too, which is rad), mostly trying to get strong for climbing in Thailand next month.

thats it from the west. oh, speaking of kenny - i got this cd in the mail from him . . .

not quite sure how to take that? do your cats enjoy this? the B is a little freaked out by it.

we're supposed to get a few feet of snow by friday/saturday. i'm out - b

Our Great State

2010-02-17T17:49:00.001-08:00

In case you did not know SC is one of the most awesome states for cyclists. NOT! Its only good for obesity, diabetes, guns, bad education, rednecks, rebel flags, the father of modern gynecology James Marion Sims, accepting other states nuclear waste and homeless, and of course governors and their Argentinean mistresses. So if your thinking about moving here....think real hard....
note: SC is somewhat good for weather. There was a high of 55 today...

2nd Annual Hoffencross. Don't be there !!!

2010-01-30T19:08:00.000-08:00

Sorry kids, but Hoffencross is postponed until further notice. I was already considering calling it off due to the current trail conditions but now that we have at least 8" of new snow on the ground up here there is no way to pull this off without shredding the trails. It sucks cause now i am going to have to celebrate my birthday by myself with all this top shelf Tequila...but i'll manage.

Unfortunately unless our weather changes up here it may be March or April before this happens so check back often for updates. If you just can't handle not getting your Hoffencross fix, click here to reminisce on last year. Or better yet check this or this and get ready for the 2nd annual Gentleman's Race in June.

Palmetto Trail Madness

2010-01-26T15:26:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday a few brave souls decided do a little mixed road/trail ride on the Palmetto Trail. We started out on our usual Ft. Jackson loop then broke off in what we thought was the correct trail head. Turns out, not so much... After about 30 minutes or so a doing circles on a military fort with live ammunition readily being used, we decided to head back to the road and search out another way in.
Just a few miles down the road, jackpot! The trail was littered with sand pits camouflaged by leaves, mud and giant flooded trenches. Don't think for one second that any of those were bad things. This ride was super FUN! My DeFeet blaze wools were soaked completely through and my I couldn't feel my last three toes but I did not care. I think we did 25ish miles?
I definitely have plans to do this ride again when I have a free weekend which I think won't be until March. Shucks!

yes Kenny rode shoe covers. That's how pro Kenny is... for those who didn't already know

sorry couldn't figure out how to rotate

Slop Fest in Charlotte

2010-01-19T14:54:00.001-08:00

aka Charlotte Short Track Series Race #1

Sunday's short track race in Charlotte proved to be quite the mud fest. Buckets of rain were dumped on the Carolinas Saturday making for a delightfully muddy course. The rain only let up during our (the single speed) race. The only sections not covered by slick peanut butter mud were those covered in gravel. This being my first short track race, I quickly found out that gearing for short track and gearing for everyday riding or a 12 hour race aren't even close! The last time I remember spinning that fast was on my first fixed gear commute. I will admit that I enjoyed this kind of race more than I expected. Will I do another? Who knows? I will tell you that I will NOT be running the same gear!

Its that time again kids...

2010-01-12T16:20:00.001-08:00

Kit Orderin Time!

So this year were changing up our kit ordering process. Send your quantities, requests and sizes to teamhoffenchard@gmail.com by Sunday January 31st. We will be sending it to Champion Systems on the first of Feb so if you miss it you'll have to wait and see if we do a reorder or not. We'll figure out your total and let you know what you owe.....2010 here we come!

On another note, if there are any potential sponsors out there and want to help out the Hoff clan that would be rad! email us and we shall discuss. There is still time and room on this years kit so act now!

Happy Birthday to the King

2010-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

There are no words that can fill the void left by The King, Elvis Aaron Presley . Lets all take a monent and reflect on the man.

Elvis Aaron Presley, in the humblest of circumstances, was born to Vernon and Gladys Presley in a two-room house in Tupelo, Mississippi on January 8, 1935. His twin brother, Jessie Garon, was stillborn, leaving Elvis to grow up as an only child. He and his parents moved to Memphis, Tennessee in 1948, and Elvis graduated from Humes High School there in 1953.
Elvis’ musical influences were the pop and country music of the time, the gospel music he heard in church and at the all-night gospel sings he frequently attended, and the black R&B he absorbed on historic Beale Street as a Memphis teenager. In 1954, he began his singing career with the legendary Sun Records label in Memphis. In late 1955, his recording contract was sold to RCA Victor. By 1956, he was an international sensation. With a sound and style that uniquely combined his diverse musical influences and blurred and challenged the social and racial barriers of the time, he ushered in a whole new era of American music and popular culture.
He starred in 33 successful films, made history with his television appearances and specials, and knew great acclaim through his many, often record-breaking, live concert performances on tour and in Las Vegas. Globally, he has sold over one billion records, more than any other artist. His American sales have earned him gold, platinum or multi-platinum awards for 150 different albums and singles, far more than any other artist. Among his many awards and accolades were 14 Grammy nominations (3 wins) from the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, which he received at age 36, and his being named One of the Ten Outstanding Young Men of the Nation for 1970 by the United States Jaycees. Without any of the special privileges his celebrity status might have afforded him, he honorably served his country in the U.S. Army.
His talent, good looks, sensuality, charisma, and good humor endeared him to millions, as did the humility and human kindness he demonstrated throughout his life. Known the world over by his first name, he is regarded as one of the most important figures of twentieth century popular culture. Elvis died at his Memphis home, Graceland, on August 16, 1977.

All the Bio stuff was a rip off from the Official Elvis website. I am not that smart.